I read an article recently about how people deal with the last days of loved ones who are dying, and one man said some words which have haunted me these last days. As his wife was taking her last breaths, he tried to comfort her, telling her it was okay to let go, and he said something like ”I’ll join you soon.” His words touched me — they made me cry, they made me wonder what words I might speak to someone I loved who was leaving me. They made me wonder what words I would want to hear in my last few seconds of life. How can we comfort someone who is dying and afraid? What are the words we need to say from our heart? What are the gestures we need to make to help a loved one? I have lost people these last years and have tried my best to comfort them, but did I say the right words to them? Did I help ease their passage? I’m not sure. How helpless we each feel in the face of death. How does one answer Death? How afraid I am of death.
What are your thoughts?
My parents died three years apart, birth from cancer. I told my parents it was okay to go when they were both close to death. I wonder of it comforted them to hear this. It was hard to tell them that but I wanted them to not suffer anymore.
Hello Mr. Zimmerman,
I dont think that we will ever be comfortable saying anything to a friend who passes on. I think that I would want to change that. I would want to be at peace with the news that I will cross over to eternity. I would like someone to read certain verses in the bible that talk about heaven. I would like to have someone sing me a song about leaving to be with my creator. I would like someone to say that the angels are waiting with great joy to receive me, and that all my loved ones await my arrival too.
I would like to change the paradigm of death to a beginning and not as an end. It is difficult when fear grasp you, but I believe that God’s promises are true, right now I am not afraid. I look forward to see God, but I probably will cry because I will miss my loved ones. When my mom leaves, I know she knows God, but I will be there to remind her about the things we know and bellieve, and I will say thank you God for my Mom, and she will hear me. I hope she is lucid and we can talk, But God is merciful, He knows what each of us can handle, sometimes he just makes us slip away in our sleep or unconsciousness. Be encouraged Mr, Zimmerman, the excellence of your work will live on. I met you once, and never forgot you. That was three years ago at an NYU training for literacy. I remember your face and the look of compassion in your eyes. All you have done has been to help others connect, thank you. God bless you…Chin up, keep on keeping on..may.God bless you and give you His peace.
Thank you for sharing.
Dear Ms. Acosta,
Thank you so much for your kind, giving words — they mean a lot to me.
Sincerely,
Bill Zimmerman
My grandmother lost her battle with Alzheimer’s back in 2007. She was the strongest, most amazing person I have ever known. She held our family together. We knew the end was near, but she was a stubborn one and held on for 4 days. I remember very clearly the last things I said to her. After a long day, I was finally leaving the Nursing Home to go sleep. I worked up the courage to say the words I had been trying to say for days. I said, “It’s okay to go. You have made us strong. We will help each other and take care of each other. Go be with Kimmy and your parents. They are waiting. I love you and I will miss you, but I will be okay.” I drove home in tears. 15 minutes later, I walked through my front door and my phone rang. Grandma was gone. I believe that grandma needed to know that we would be okay. I think that’s what people need to know: They are going to a better place and the ones they leave behind will be fine.